Frank Cassano (@portlandmercury)


323 Friends

Sorry, North Portland residents, Trader Joe's will NOT be coaxed back into the fold.
RT @WmSteveHumphrey: Best idea ever: "Star Trek: The Next Generation Babies." Like Muppet Babies! (Glad I'm not driving, cuz all I can see …
Portland's zoo animals hear better shows than you do. And the Nigerian dwarf goats are insufferable about it.
The Portland Tribune says a new water board is a bad idea. But its parent company donated to the effort.
"Dad, did you know Jesus rides a horse?" "What color is the horse, Colton?" "All the colors!"
City laws against camping and building structures—often broken by homeless people—can now be used to make arrests.
RT @theriaultpdx: Says @Dirquez: Anti-camping/structures laws expand the reach of "interfering with police officer" arrests in #PDX. http:…
Bring High Tide Harry's to Portland ASAP
Two tickets to ANVIL, coming right up.
Portland cops handcuffed a 9-year-old girl last year. Public defenders want to make sure it doesn't happen again.
Agh! Delorean is breaking up. ("We weren’t breaking new ground as a band.") Catch their last show May 31.
You need fashion shows, and we've literally got them for days.
.@alisonhallett Please god don't tell me you have a google alert set up for "teens."
Senior Editor @erik_henriksen also frequently sings "Baby Beluga" at the top of his lungs. The man loves Full House.
Good morning, Portland. Watch a god damn longboarder pee in the Mt. Tabor reservoir.
For the pot issue, we made our two most pot-averse staffers smoke a bunch of it. Result: An unqualified success.
RT @LilBikesBigFun: PBOT OPEN HOUSE REPORT Most people here agree we need to pay to fix our roads but that this tax should be progressive. …
HUMP!'s greatest hits are coming to Portland. There's no way you're missing this.
Portland cops arrested a 9-year-old girl. They're indignant that's been called into question.
The ex-commissioner suing over sewer and water spending doesn't want a new water district.

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About portlandmercury

Author of the Portland Mercury's Imbecile Parade, you imbecile.