Frank Cassano (@portlandmercury)

5,699 Followers

323 Friends

Sorry, North Portland residents, Trader Joe's will NOT be coaxed back into the fold. http://t.co/lWIM48IU37
RT @WmSteveHumphrey: Best idea ever: "Star Trek: The Next Generation Babies." Like Muppet Babies! (Glad I'm not driving, cuz all I can see …
Portland's zoo animals hear better shows than you do. And the Nigerian dwarf goats are insufferable about it. http://t.co/wvDH42inXo
The Portland Tribune says a new water board is a bad idea. But its parent company donated to the effort. http://t.co/d8ckWRkDok
"Dad, did you know Jesus rides a horse?" "What color is the horse, Colton?" "All the colors!" http://t.co/PsnKsBdOJN
City laws against camping and building structures—often broken by homeless people—can now be used to make arrests. http://t.co/viijS667nS
RT @theriaultpdx: Says @Dirquez: Anti-camping/structures laws expand the reach of "interfering with police officer" arrests in #PDX. http:…
Bring High Tide Harry's to Portland ASAP http://t.co/ybAHVPTHIv
Two tickets to ANVIL, coming right up. http://t.co/24prhRbNdr
Portland cops handcuffed a 9-year-old girl last year. Public defenders want to make sure it doesn't happen again. http://t.co/VUL9KNZWBh
Agh! Delorean is breaking up. ("We weren’t breaking new ground as a band.") Catch their last show May 31. http://t.co/VPbXDzNNlY
You need fashion shows, and we've literally got them for days. http://t.co/eMEPumAyxD
.@alisonhallett Please god don't tell me you have a google alert set up for "teens."
Senior Editor @erik_henriksen also frequently sings "Baby Beluga" at the top of his lungs. The man loves Full House. http://t.co/WKDSNvga82
Good morning, Portland. Watch a god damn longboarder pee in the Mt. Tabor reservoir. http://t.co/MAM3UCOXKd
For the pot issue, we made our two most pot-averse staffers smoke a bunch of it. Result: An unqualified success. http://t.co/nKjhWN3rWt
RT @LilBikesBigFun: PBOT OPEN HOUSE REPORT Most people here agree we need to pay to fix our roads but that this tax should be progressive. …
HUMP!'s greatest hits are coming to Portland. There's no way you're missing this. http://t.co/60Q5lkoQzv
Portland cops arrested a 9-year-old girl. They're indignant that's been called into question. http://t.co/Lw7xJ72N0t
The ex-commissioner suing over sewer and water spending doesn't want a new water district. http://t.co/qa7tjmOObG

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About portlandmercury

Author of the Portland Mercury's Imbecile Parade, you imbecile.