Frank Cassano (@portlandmercury)

5,699 Followers

323 Friends

Good Morning, News: Everything You Need to Know Before A Mercedes Owner Murders You With a Parking Garage http://t.co/WNLPI1RZQI
RT @WmSteveHumphrey: Dear North Korea: The city of Portland wants me to pay a parking ticket. You know what to do.
something tells me @WmSteveHumphrey got cut off by a truck this morning? I don't know, that's just a guess http://t.co/XZlAySEXF3
Tonight: Portland's Office Party takes over @branxpdx. Attendance is mandatory. http://t.co/b5PsHwUJgx
RT @WmSteveHumphrey: Last thing on my holiday shopping list: BUY MY FATHER'S LOVE. [Cue depressing Dan Fogelberg sax solo. http://t.co/vcL2…
RT @kenadian_bacon: Ancient Heat will be playing @portlandmercury holiday office party at Branx tonight. Really looking… http://t.co/gxiGFH…
RT @endhits: Mikey Hodges, of the Memories, Boom!, and the brilliant @pop_zeus, has died. His family needs your help: http://t.co/6MRs60ci9w
City council bends to Portland Business Alliance on the street fee: "We're going to go back to more of a user fee." http://t.co/OoQ6v3FY2O
BOOM. We've got reviews of THE HOBBIT, FOXCATCHER, BABADOOK, and WHY DON'T YOU PLAY IN HELL? http://t.co/Bysb1mQ1vx http://t.co/kIy5uJDMeX
DROP THAT CARAMEL APPLE NOW! and also read Good Morning, News! http://t.co/1tWwgDaemQ
Good Morning, News: "Gut Check Time" on the Street Fee? Did China Help North Korea? DROP THAT CARAMEL APPLE NOW! http://t.co/1tWwgDaemQ
RT @adamewood: Also, if you aren't drinking a cocktail and eating pickled herring at @fenrirpdx, you're probably at the wrong bar. http://t…
RT @WmSteveHumphrey: Okay North Korea... where to start? MOVIES AREN'T REAL. Especially movies with Seth Rogan. Did you not see Green Horne…
Why Veritable Quandary Fans Are Weeping Over a Possible Courthouse that Won't Actually Touch the Veritable Quandary http://t.co/IZItos8xoN
a new development for this year's white elephant is that @WmSteveHumphrey is making us listen to Kenny G's christmas album, so that's great
every year @WmSteveHumphrey declares himself "Grand Marshall of the Mercury White Elephant" & giddily sends this out http://t.co/w7De1o1Plh
Dan Savage, Alialujah Choir, and more will perform at Revolution Hall, inside what used to be Washington High School: http://t.co/cP9GF2L9vB
RT @WmSteveHumphrey: North Korea threatened me—so I'm quitting my job, canceling Xmas, and never speaking to my family again. (Better safe …
Goddamn North Korea. (Maybe? Maybe not?) Now NASA's wondering if we should move to Venus. It's Good Morning, News! http://t.co/RN0p2VzOfl
QUICK! Win two tix to the wildest office party of the year... Portland's Holiday Office Party! Friday at Branx! http://t.co/TRB0xN1Dp3

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About portlandmercury

Author of the Portland Mercury's Imbecile Parade, you imbecile.