Frank Cassano (@portlandmercury)


323 Friends

Good Morning, News: Everything You Need to Know Before A Mercedes Owner Murders You With a Parking Garage
RT @WmSteveHumphrey: Dear North Korea: The city of Portland wants me to pay a parking ticket. You know what to do.
something tells me @WmSteveHumphrey got cut off by a truck this morning? I don't know, that's just a guess
Tonight: Portland's Office Party takes over @branxpdx. Attendance is mandatory.
RT @WmSteveHumphrey: Last thing on my holiday shopping list: BUY MY FATHER'S LOVE. [Cue depressing Dan Fogelberg sax solo.…
RT @kenadian_bacon: Ancient Heat will be playing @portlandmercury holiday office party at Branx tonight. Really looking……
RT @endhits: Mikey Hodges, of the Memories, Boom!, and the brilliant @pop_zeus, has died. His family needs your help:
City council bends to Portland Business Alliance on the street fee: "We're going to go back to more of a user fee."
DROP THAT CARAMEL APPLE NOW! and also read Good Morning, News!
Good Morning, News: "Gut Check Time" on the Street Fee? Did China Help North Korea? DROP THAT CARAMEL APPLE NOW!
RT @adamewood: Also, if you aren't drinking a cocktail and eating pickled herring at @fenrirpdx, you're probably at the wrong bar. http://t…
RT @WmSteveHumphrey: Okay North Korea... where to start? MOVIES AREN'T REAL. Especially movies with Seth Rogan. Did you not see Green Horne…
Why Veritable Quandary Fans Are Weeping Over a Possible Courthouse that Won't Actually Touch the Veritable Quandary
a new development for this year's white elephant is that @WmSteveHumphrey is making us listen to Kenny G's christmas album, so that's great
every year @WmSteveHumphrey declares himself "Grand Marshall of the Mercury White Elephant" & giddily sends this out
Dan Savage, Alialujah Choir, and more will perform at Revolution Hall, inside what used to be Washington High School:
RT @WmSteveHumphrey: North Korea threatened me—so I'm quitting my job, canceling Xmas, and never speaking to my family again. (Better safe …
Goddamn North Korea. (Maybe? Maybe not?) Now NASA's wondering if we should move to Venus. It's Good Morning, News!
QUICK! Win two tix to the wildest office party of the year... Portland's Holiday Office Party! Friday at Branx!

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About portlandmercury

Author of the Portland Mercury's Imbecile Parade, you imbecile.