The Onion (@TheOnion)


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New Free-Range Slaughterhouse Allows Livestock To Roam Freely On Killing Floor
RT @ClickHole: This Will Change The Way You Watch ‘Inception’
Battle Of Wits With Unwieldy Burrito Nears Thrilling Endgame
RT @OnionSports: Report: Desperation Flying Up Several NFL Teams’ Draft Boards
Healthy Cooking Substitutions
Man Has Never Given Single Definitive Yes To Any Invitation He's Ever Received
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RT @OnionSports: Mel Kiper Shrugs Off Amorous Feelings Toward Big Board While Working Late One Night…
James Cameron Says Future Of Movies Will Be Watching Them Sitting On His Lap
RT @ClickHole: Um, yes please? Goodbye, insecurities—hello, awesome!
Opioid Deaths Could Be Underestimated #WhatDoYouThink?
RT @OnionSports: Total Dipshit Fans Think Pop-Up Fly Ball Going To Be Home Run
5 Things To Watch For At The NRA Convention
University Of Nevada Renames Vito Corleone School Of Business Following Latest Accusations Against Benefactor…
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RT @ClickHole: ‘To A Child, I Am Completely Immovable’: 5 Questions With Chance The Rapper
Comic Con Overrun By Hordes Of Brainless Zombie Properties
Hash Browns Recalled For ‘Extraneous Golf Ball Materials’ #WhatDoYouThink?
Editorial Cartoon: "The First Hungered Days"
"Sometimes I feel like I’m in prison, too. But then my shift ends, and I go back to my own house."…

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About TheOnion

America's Finest News Source. Watch @OnionSports #SportsDome Tuesdays 8/7c on Comedy Central and Onion News Network (@ONN) Friday's 10/9c on @IFCtv

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