The Onion (@TheOnion)

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New Free-Range Slaughterhouse Allows Livestock To Roam Freely On Killing Floor https://t.co/UTWAaa66qO https://t.co/bUs1TfWG2c
RT @ClickHole: This Will Change The Way You Watch ‘Inception’ https://t.co/4OtAjPuG5I
Battle Of Wits With Unwieldy Burrito Nears Thrilling Endgame https://t.co/KgELkzZglI https://t.co/ocLicTwZvO
RT @OnionSports: Report: Desperation Flying Up Several NFL Teams’ Draft Boards
Healthy Cooking Substitutions https://t.co/dLpc1njp09
Man Has Never Given Single Definitive Yes To Any Invitation He's Ever Received https://t.co/784cxBXRqW https://t.co/PRINYs8Uji
For more exemplary journalism, visit https://t.co/csf5QUbhed. https://t.co/iuzQDkESnq
RT @OnionSports: Mel Kiper Shrugs Off Amorous Feelings Toward Big Board While Working Late One Night https://t.co/T5dqLMGj88 https://t.co/C…
James Cameron Says Future Of Movies Will Be Watching Them Sitting On His Lap https://t.co/DPNDYa7xcp https://t.co/xy4dna5GYC
RT @ClickHole: Um, yes please? Goodbye, insecurities—hello, awesome! https://t.co/IH32EDjFy4 https://t.co/lm6sDpgW24
Opioid Deaths Could Be Underestimated https://t.co/UTgI5r7GM9 #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/ibuNaTl1BC
RT @OnionSports: Total Dipshit Fans Think Pop-Up Fly Ball Going To Be Home Run https://t.co/VqNYIH03pK https://t.co/EEjQTKpKl2
5 Things To Watch For At The NRA Convention https://t.co/giyjKDjCSM
University Of Nevada Renames Vito Corleone School Of Business Following Latest Accusations Against Benefactor… https://t.co/qqz5CYPHLn
Did You Know? https://t.co/dOqAyyloPi
RT @ClickHole: ‘To A Child, I Am Completely Immovable’: 5 Questions With Chance The Rapper https://t.co/GtlUhHRw1X https://t.co/RJr0s0WW2I
Comic Con Overrun By Hordes Of Brainless Zombie Properties https://t.co/Rvr9Y9ZskD
Hash Browns Recalled For ‘Extraneous Golf Ball Materials’ https://t.co/Ob1J5Se5Cf #WhatDoYouThink? https://t.co/UT21Sg8Mew
Editorial Cartoon: "The First Hungered Days" https://t.co/cVLCczWzHT https://t.co/rIDvOKqmfz
"Sometimes I feel like I’m in prison, too. But then my shift ends, and I go back to my own house."… https://t.co/ISLSTAhlqg

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About TheOnion

America's Finest News Source. Watch @OnionSports #SportsDome Tuesdays 8/7c on Comedy Central and Onion News Network (@ONN) Friday's 10/9c on @IFCtv
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