Dumbemployed (Dumbemployed.com) is a Business on Twitter - Tweets

Try slapping your boss to be certain he isn't a hologram.

Ironically, the President doesn't get President's Day off.

Never talk religion and politics at work, unless you work at the Vatican.

Don't trust your employer on economics. Your boss thinks "GDP" is a vitamin store.

It's holiday shopping season. If you work at a store, wear a helmet.

If your coworker asks you for "a little teamwork," prepare to do their job for at least a week.

Your boss thinks Thanksgiving is an opportunity to say "you're welcome."

If you don't get next Wednesday off, try convincing your boss that it's a religious holiday when you sacrifice your Turkey.

Ask your boss to let you spend all that Daylight Savings by working outside.

Never discuss politics at work. Instead, communicate your views through anonymous notes, slipped under your boss's door.

Dress up at work! Consider going as a Doctor, especially if you work at a hospital as a janitor.

Make sure your boss knows that "Mean Boss" is not a Halloween costume if they act that way already.

Performance reviews can be high pressure situations, so drink heavily beforehand to blow off steam.

Check out an excerpt from Dumbemployed in this month's Reader's Digest! Or, of course, buy the book. We'll let you choose.

Despite your training in kindergarten, coloring bookkeeping is not a viable career.

Now available: the Dumbemployed eBook! Complain about jobs...with technology! http://t.co/lBkCFesr

Want to bring your child to work but don't have any kids? Consider legally adopting your cat.

Fall in the office means you can start hibernating.

When protesting Wall Street, bring your resume along just in case.

Feel free to listen to music at work, as long as you didn't invite a band into your cubicle.